


Anatomy Lesson

by Aidaran, StarTravel



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Alien anatomy, Awkward Flirting, Awkwardness, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, Xenobiology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 12:48:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17704538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aidaran/pseuds/Aidaran, https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarTravel/pseuds/StarTravel
Summary: Julian Bashir has a lot of questions about Cardassian biology. Garak wants to answer them, but they don't seem to be on the same page.





	Anatomy Lesson

There’s something to be said about Julian being subtle. And that is, Julian just doesn’t do subtle.  

When he was in medical school, Julian had terrible bedside manners. He just couldn’t find it in himself to care about what his patients had to say, when just a quick look gave him all the information. So he learned to script it like a holoprogram, and practiced in front of a mirror, until he mastered the art of looking interested. 

Now, he knows how to fake listening to his patients, when he already has the full diagnosis and doesn't need to hear the symptoms. Sometimes, he already has six different ways to treat them and has picked which one is best, and they just keep telling him things, and all the while he smiles and fakes scanning.

And yet, even if he forces himself to listen, they never like it when  _ he  _ tells them facts about their illness. Especially if there's pus involved. He could go on hours about that, and just can’t understand how it is that they get to talk about  _ their  _ symptoms, but he doesn’t. Pus is interesting! Clearly, he needs to hone his communicational skills so people eventually understand that.

All he wants is a willing audience. Most of the time, that audience ends up being Kukalaka, but sometimes, there’s Garak.

Garak doesn't mind, and can, in fact, give a few facts of his own (totally heard while hemming trousers, of course). Even when Julian makes a face and tries to make him tell the truth, Garak always insists that it’s totally feasible that somebody talked about how to break a neck while measuring a shirt. And the way he tells it, with so much detail, makes Julian forget everything and just keep asking questions. So with Bolians you have to make a double take to break it? Now that is something medical school doesn’t teach!

Yet, most of the time Garak tells him things about other species. And Julian wants to know more about Cardassian physiology. They’re so secretive. He wonders if there’s some unspeakable secret and that’s why he is being kept in the dark. Maybe they reproduce by spores?

“If you keep deflecting, Garak, I’ll just have to ask Dukat. or Ziyal. She’ll tell me, you’ll see.”

“Oh, I’d like to see you try. Will you bring up that bit about reproduction too?” 

So he does. He attacks her one night, when she is reading at the replimat. And at first she is quite open, even if her mixed heritage means some things are not that clear for her. Julian doesn’t mind. He has so many questions to ask her.

After half an hour, Garak saunters in, having received at least 100 messages from Ziyal asking to be rescued. She’d been messaging him from under the table with increasing desperation. Julian smiles widely when he sees him come in.

“Oh, Garak! Here you are! I did as you suggested, and you were right, we are having such a lovely conversation! Right, Ziyal?”

“Yes, but I- ah... I’m needed somewhere else. Kira called me to help her... with... the upcoming festival.”

Julian frowns. The next festival isn’t until two months from now.

“But I was just beginning to understand the proctarian gland!”

Garak puts his hands in Julian’s shoulders and first presses softly, then moves them slowly upwards, and the doctor tries to remember what he knows about that gesture. If he had ridges, it would be quite a bold move, but he’s not if sure Garak means it. Maybe he should ask later, but he doubts Garak will give him a straight answer. Still, it feels nice, so he doesn’t complain. The Cardassian leans in, almost breathing over the doctor’s ear. 

“Dear doctor, I think it would be better to let Ziyal go, and instead go to my quarters, don’t you think?”

“Will you teach me about Cardassian anatomy?”

“Sure I will, my doctor.”

They both get up and turn to leave. Ziyal snorts and makes a little encouraging gesture to Garak, who just nods at her and keeps walking with his hand in Julian’s back.

“You know, Garak, I’ve been studying Kardassi.”

“You don’t say.”

“Yes, so I think I’ll be able to understand any book about anatomy you choose to let me read.”

“Indeed, my dear. You may get quite an interesting lesson today.”

“Oh, I can’t wait.”

Garak is not quite sure if the doctor is flirting or simply obnoxious, but still keeps walking with him. When Julian asks where the books are, Garak realizes that yes, he had not been flirting at all. Still, the night may be saved if he makes the right moves. 

“Get comfortable, my dear, I’ll be there in a minute. Go sit on the couch if you want.”

“I don’t understand, Garak, why are we even here?”

“Well, you wanted anatomy classes, right?”

Garak walks to a cabinet and gets a bottle of Kanar. Not that ugly replicated stuff Quark sells. Real,  seasoned kanar. Julian knows he’d been saving it for a special occasion, so really, why is he pouring it now?

“Here, have some, my dear”. Garak sits on the couch, on the opposite side of Julian, but still a bit too close. Julian gulps and looks at his glass. This is getting weirder and weirder, and he just can’t understand why.

“Uhm, thank you Garak, but I’m not too much of a kanar kind of guy. You wouldn’t happen to have some springwine, would you?”

“Oh, but this is not just any kind of kanar, dear doctor. I insist, you shouldn’t say no to things before trying”. Garak raises his eye ridges and Julian is sure he’s trying to tell him something, but he can’t imagine what.

Julian drinks, and thinks maybe Garak is right. This doesn’t taste half as bad as he was expecting. He gulps half his glass and looks at his friend. Garak is drinking slowly, looking at him in a very intense way. Julian wonders if Garak is planning to eat him. He’d ruled that possibility years ago, but now he is not that sure.

_ Is there any way to call Miles so he can save me? I really don’t know what is happening here. _

“Garak.”

“Yes, my dear?”

“What are we doing here?”

Garak smiles innocently and put his glass down. He leans in closer to Julian.

"Didn't you want to ask about anatomy? I thought you’d prefer a more... intimate lesson than you could get in the Replimat.”

Suddenly Julian realizes everything is awkward, and Garak is getting closer to him, waiting for the questions. 

_ Well. Now or never, Julian. Ask him. _

Julian takes a deep breath.

_ Just ask him. _

“So. Did you ever have tails? Do you shred your skin? Or your scales? Can you regrow ridges? Can you survive in 130-degree weather? How many shades of orange can you see? Are you color blind to some part of the spectrum? How long can you stay underwater?”

These are. Not. The questions. Garak expected.

Oh no, he prepared the scenario and Julian blew it up. He doesn't even know how to answer now. Is the doctor toying with him? Now he has to come up with a new plan. Is there any chance of answering all those questions and sound seductive at the same time?  it is hard to sound sexy talking about scale shredding.

Julian is smiling eagerly and holding his glass in one hand. Is that man an idiot, or actually so brilliant he saw through Garak’s plan all along? No, clearly, he is an idiot. There’s no way he actually planned this.

Then Julian looks at the kanar and then at Garak’s face and realizes that he may have misunderstood something.  He is not sure what. Maybe one of his questions was culturally insensitive?

He feels lost so he puts his glass down and looks up at Garak and then back down again. Maybe he was supposed to apologize about ... something. Yes, he undoubtedly did something. 

“So, Garak, ehm... I’m sorry, I’m sure it was so insensitive of me, and I didn’t want to...”

“My dear, why are you apologizing?”

“For asking too many questions at once? Or maybe overstepping some social boundary. I know you Cardassians are so secretive. Or maybe I...”

Garak snorts. How  _ Julian  _ can he be, apologizing and still having no idea about what? He clears his throat, trying to regain all the terrain he apparently lost in the seduction game.

"Well, then we could do something instead of asking questions".

Julian gives it some thought.

"Play kotra?"

Garak is sure now he is being played. There’s no other explanation. Garak just opens his mouth and closes it a couple times. Julian still doesn’t understand.

“What did I do now?”

Garak gives up. There’s no use for subtlety here. Cardassia be damned, let's take a federaji approach to it, or really, all night will be spent talking about shredding scales.

Garak bolts and grabs him by the uniform, pulling him close. They are so close now that Garak can feel the other man catch his breath. And then, a smile. Oh no, he knows that smile.

“Garak, were you trying to seduce me?”

“Wasn’t it obvious?”

“Well, you could totally be more subtle, you know. It is not like I don’t catch that sort of things”.

“I’ve been subtle all night, dear.”

“Oh no, no. You invited me to talk about medicine.”

“I invited you to teach you about  _ anatomy _ ”.

“Yes, that. And then you poured me a drink, and then... Oh.”

“Yes, oh indeed.”

“Oh, I... I’m normally a lot smoother, you know that, Garak.”

“Oh yeah, so smooth, of course”. Garak caresses his cheek and nuzzles his neck, and Julian stops thinking when he feels Garak drag his lips on his collarbone.

Julian feels like he should argue, but Garak is still so close to him. Somehow, he’d ended up with Garak over him, and now he is pressed against the cushions, gasping a little.

Julian closes his eyes for a second, mind briefly going blank as though he feels cool grey lips press against his neck. But he is still Julian Bashir, so even as he lets his own mouth brush across the ridges on Garak’s neck, he starts noticing everything. He can’t help seeing how Garak’s ridges are now the same shade of blue as his eyes. Some rational part of him wants to ask about the physiological response of the ridges, if it affects all of them or only the ones close to the source of... excitement, so to speak. 

“Ga- Garak, your ridges... is that like... blushing? Oh, you are doing that face again, and... is your hand...? OH”.

Maybe it would be better to shut up. Anyway, he feels like the blood is not going to his brain anymore. He wonders if he'll have the chance to ask later. Maybe he will, after they’ve done far more interesting things. Maybe he’ll learn about anatomy this night after all, along with some things about Cardassian stamina and strength he’s always wondered. One thing is clear: they don’t reproduce by spores, as Garak seems eager to prove to him. That’s his last rational thought. 

**Author's Note:**

> We had a blast making this fic. Comments are love!


End file.
